Postpartum Depression & the Pressure of Perfect Motherhood

About Richu Elin Abraham (Author)

Richu Elin Abraham is a counselling psychologist specialising in mental health support for pregnant women and new mothers. She helps women navigate the emotional and psychological challenges of pregnancy and early motherhood, including stress, anxiety, and postpartum adjustments. Through personalised counselling, she creates a safe space for mothers to express their concerns, develop coping strategies, and build resilience. Her goal is to empower and support them as they transition into motherhood with confidence and well-being.

• Introduction: When Motherhood Feels Heavy
• The Myth of the “Perfect Mother”
• Understanding Postpartum Depression in Women
• Signs and Symptoms of Postpartum Depression
• Real Lives, Quiet Warnings We Must Not Ignore
• How to Cope and Heal from Postpartum Depression
• Breaking the Silence Around Maternal Mental Health
• Key Takeaways
• Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
• Message from SuperBottoms 
• References
  

Motherhood is often described as one of life’s most beautiful journeys. Yet, for many women, it is also one of the most emotionally vulnerable phases they will ever experience.

As a counselling psychologist, I have walked alongside countless women as they navigate early motherhood. While the outside world celebrates smiles, milestones, and “perfect” moments, many mothers quietly struggle beneath the surface. These struggles—linked to postpartum mental health, emotional exhaustion, and unmet expectations—often remain unseen and unheard.

This article explores the emotional pressure of being a “perfect mother,” the realities of postpartum depression in women, and compassionate ways to cope and heal.

The Myth of the “Perfect Mother”

From the moment pregnancy is announced, expectations begin to pile up.

A mother is expected to be:

• Calm and nurturing
• Emotionally strong
• Instantly bonded with her baby
• Physically recovered within weeks
• Capable of managing home, baby, and self—effortlessly
  

After childbirth, these expectations intensify. Breastfeeding must come naturally. Sleep deprivation should be handled with grace. Emotional struggles are often dismissed as “normal.”

This unrealistic image leaves no space for vulnerability. It creates shame around struggle and silence around postpartum stress and postpartum mental illness.

Understanding Postpartum Depression in Women

Postpartum depression in women is not a weakness or a failure. It is a clinically recognised mental health condition that can affect mood, thoughts, behaviour, and daily functioning.

Signs and Symptoms of Postpartum Depression

Common signs and symptoms of postpartum depression include:

• Persistent sadness or emotional numbness
• Irritability, anger, or restlessness
• Difficulty bonding with the baby
• Extreme fatigue or sleep disturbances
• Feelings of guilt, shame, or worthlessness
• Thoughts of self-harm or harming the baby

Symptoms may appear days, weeks, or even months after childbirth. Because many mothers are told to “be grateful” or “stay positive,” they often ignore these warning signs.

Untreated postpartum mental illness can affect a mother’s relationships, self-worth, and ability to care for herself and her child.

Real Lives, Quiet Warnings We Must Not Ignore

Across India, there have been deeply distressing cases where postpartum depression went unnoticed until it led to tragic outcomes.

In Kerala, a young mother’s visible distress was dismissed by those around her. Her emotional pain remained unheard until it was too late. In Bengaluru, a well-educated medical professional silently battled postpartum mental illness, despite having access to healthcare.

These stories remind us that mental health moms need understanding—not assumptions. Postpartum struggles do not discriminate based on education, income, or profession.

These narratives are not meant to instil fear. They are meant to awaken empathy and urgency.

How to Cope and Heal from Postpartum Depression

Recovery is possible. With timely support and compassionate care, mothers can heal and rebuild emotional strength.

1. Talk About It

Sharing your feelings with a trusted partner, friend, or therapist can reduce emotional burden. Silence often worsens distress.

2. Seek Professional Support

Therapy—especially Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)—has proven effective. In some cases, medication may be recommended under medical supervision.

There is no shame in asking for help.

3. Build a Support System

Support groups, online communities, or local mother circles help reduce isolation. Connection reminds mothers they are not alone.

4. Practice Self-Compassion

Let go of perfection. Healing begins when mothers stop judging themselves and start caring for themselves.

5. Prioritise Sleep and Nutrition

Sleep deprivation and poor nutrition intensify postpartum stress. Rest whenever possible and eat nourishing meals.

6. Gentle Movement

Short walks, stretching, or light movement can help regulate mood and reduce anxiety.

7. Educate Families and Partners

When families understand postpartum mental health, they are better equipped to offer meaningful emotional and practical support.

These steps are essential for anyone learning how to overcome postpartum depression and how to cope with postpartum stress.

Breaking the Silence Around Maternal Mental Health

We must normalise conversations about postpartum depression, emotional exhaustion, and mental health challenges in motherhood.

Every mother deserves:

• To feel heard
• To feel supported
• To feel safe asking for help
  

When we talk openly about postpartum mental health, we create a culture where healing is possible—and where no woman has to suffer alone.

Key Takeaways

1. Postpartum depression in women is real, common, and treatable—it is not a reflection of a mother’s strength or love.
2. The pressure to be a “perfect mother” worsens postpartum stress, often silencing women who need support the most.
3. Open conversations, early intervention, and family awareness are essential to protecting postpartum mental health and saving lives.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

1. What are the early signs of postpartum depression?

Persistent sadness, irritability, fatigue, difficulty bonding with the baby, and feelings of guilt. If symptoms last beyond two weeks, seek professional help.

2. How is postpartum depression different from baby blues?

Baby blues are mild and short-lived. Postpartum depression is more intense, lasts longer, and interferes with daily life.

3. Can postpartum depression affect partners or fathers?

Yes. Partners can also experience postpartum stress, especially when emotional or caregiving demands increase.

4. Is medication safe during breastfeeding?

Some medications are considered safe. Always consult a psychiatrist for personalised guidance.

5. How long does postpartum depression last?

With treatment and support, recovery is possible within months. Without support, symptoms may persist longer.

6. Can lifestyle changes support postpartum mental health?

Yes. Adequate rest, nutrition, emotional support, and gentle routines can significantly improve emotional well-being.

7. Where can mothers in India seek immediate help?

Trusted mental health helplines include:

• Aasra (Mumbai): 022-27546669
• Sneha (Chennai): 044-24640050
• Sumaitri (Delhi): 011-23389090
• Pratheeksha (Kochi): 0484-2448830
  

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References

• Kerala woman found dead 4 years after killing her baby during postpartum depression
• Postnatal depression and perinatal mental health